Dating, Intimacy, Sexuality and Online Culture

The medium of New Media utilised to conduct Cyber Sex involves varying levels of intimacy and risk. There are many ways that people can engage in Cyber Sex, including, Skype, facbook, dating sites, dicussion forums and mobile phones, each involves their own code of agreed ethics between the two parties in order for both parties to remain engaged. Many of these involve negotiating power, for example there is often a requisite for mutual trust, or confidentiality. These vary according to the rules that both parties establish, either informally or formally much like a real relationship, the process involves negotiation.

The most significant factor determining whether a sexual encounter on the internet can be construed as cheating, depends on the boundaries and rules set within the existing relationship. How committed you are to the idea of a formal monogamous relationship would probably determine the likelihood of the participant to engage in flirting and cybersex in the first place, although in an open relationship these rules may vary and loyalty may be expressed in different forms. Is it cheating of your partner approves of you engaging in online flirting?

This process of negotiation and self disclosure is important as there is an aspect of permanency in interactions on the internet, there is a space on the net where written words or photographic material used in erotic situations are etched there permanently and can later mulled over, or used against the participant, the intimate can be made very public very quickly. In many cases the less formal a liason is on the internet, the more confidentiality is needed in order for particpation to be an equal distribution of power. Therefore means of concealing identity is important and illustrates why role play, sexual or otherwise is so popular on the internet.

Different mediums of communication involve different levels of control over the users identity , these are often determined via the medium chosen to enage in the activity. The identity projected by the user and the level of authenticy probably also
determines whether online behaviour can be construed as cheating. Furthermore, the way particpants choose to represent themselves again ties in to levels of trust and power. There is also the issue of the “real” identity, as opposed to the “cyber” indentity. In many sense sexual interactions over the internet are conducted with the particpants “cyber” identity andoften fantasy and role playing is a central part of the interaction.

The reality of online encounters is that it can be difficult to gage whether chemistry will manifest from web page to real life, so often many elements of the encounter will remain only appropriate online, they may not translate very well to real life situations. Which highlights one of the reasons why encounters online are often brief and varied, monogamy in the cyber realm is probably virtually impossible as participants are not able to to make choices based on tactile experiences.


The sex and dating industry is the most profitable industry on the internet. Due to the high demand of such services, Economy naturally ties into things like selection/identity and power.

Pascoes article describes how often sexual liasons in Cyber Space occur in sites which are not specifically designed for Cyber Sex, but there is often a process of being accepted into a community that memebers often have to undergo before courting or dating is considered acceptable amongst peers. There are also other niches and groups that cater to specific demographics according to age, sexual preferences and race.